The Joke thread.

[Chriz]

this thread is post jokes.

Rules :
only 4 max per post please (on't want too many at a time)
Keep it none-offensive (e.g no racist jokes)


Here is a couple :

How do you get pikachu on a bus?

Poke-'Im-on

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I've just had laser eye treatment.

That's the last time I'll steal Superman's parking space.

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How many Dragonball Z characters does it take to change a light bulb?

OVER NINE THOUSAND

(i'm sorry for that one lol)

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Top 45 Oxymoron's:

45. Act naturally
44. Found missing
43. Resident alien
42. Advanced BASIC
41. Genuine imitation
40. Airline Food
39. Good grief
38. Same difference
37. Almost exactly
36. Government organization
35. Sanitary landfill
34. Alone together
33. Legally drunk
32. Silent scream
31. Living dead
30. Small crowd
29. Business ethics
28. Soft rock
27. Butt Head
26. Military Intelligence
25. Software documentation
24. New classic
23. Sweet sorrow
22. Childproof
21. "Now, then ..."
20. Synthetic natural gas
19. Passive aggression
18. Taped live
17. Clearly misunderstood
16. Peace force
15. Extinct Life
14. Temporary tax increase
13. Computer jock
12. Plastic glasses
11. Terribly pleased
10. Computer security
9. Political science
8. Tight slacks
7. Definite maybe
6. Pretty ugly
5. Twelve-ounce pound cake
4. Diet ice cream
3. Working vacation
2. Exact estimate
1. Microsoft Works

[Legendary.]

I used to think that tying my shoes was difficult but then I met Sally. Sally had no arms. She punched me twice.

Now, the only difficult thing is trying to figure out what happened.

[DaiRed]

See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. Y'see... Y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"

[Evil Green Ranger]

See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. Y'see... Y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"


Batman: ha ha ha ha ha
When did the Joker show up? lol...sorry I have no jokes at this time :-(

[DaiRed]

Batman: ha ha ha ha ha
When did the Joker show up? lol...sorry I have no jokes at this time :-(

I kinda got an aftermath joke from that one.

BARBARA: So did you get the Joker?
BATMAN: Yeah, but he told a joke that was pretty funny so I let him go.
BARBARA: What?! The son of a b!+c# shot me and you let him go because he told a joke?!
BATMAN: Well you kinda had to be there.