THEKINGOFSOMEWHERE
04-02-2008, 10:26 PM
The Dragon Who Would Fix Our Decaying Socio-Economic System In a Manner Most Benifitting to The Bourgeoise and Proletariats
In the land of Hilltop Bridge, a constantly renamed location nearing the isles of Great Britian there was home many a fantastical quest in which brave knights slaughtered undead by the hundreds, leaped across chasms when they could not find the bridge in plain view, and rescued Princesses from subdued draconic, lizardly beasts who expelled flames hot enough to put a blacksmith out of business for a hundred eons or more.
What many later historians and thus, exaggerators keen on making sure that the people of the ages further along the cone of time look simple and borderline idiotic; simply missed or "forgot" to include was that these incidents were-not, in fact, accidents occuring by random chance or the workings of a mystical terrorist; but a simple economic system.
The King of Hilltop Bridge's reputation as a maniacal tyrant caused many a soil-man to fear, or in the King's eyes, respect, him; a fact in which the sensitive king took great joy in. However, the King disliked seeing his people suffer in such droves as they did, without enough gold or silver pences to purchase even the bare neccesities, so he installed a system in which he could stealthily help his subjects without fear that they would no longer fear his soft step along their gardens (well, despite the issue of the resulting flagrant disobedience of "Hath Not This Grass Tread On" signs, and the issue that the muddy feet of a King would instill dirty particles in Mr. Smity's perfectly arranged and cleaned garrden.).
The system was arranged with the Lord of Dragons, Scales Nothingsworth; and would be as follows: a dragon would kidnap the most beautiful daughter among the King's on every fortnight or following fortnight if it be a Holiday, and thus the King, in feigned fear and woe, would hire a brave soldier Knight, giving him an unimaginably incredible wealth if he was too return with his daughter unharmed, which was most likely given that the Dragons were not truly hostile, simply brief in there conversations and content with the more simple pleasures of sunbathing and a Sunday Flight. The King, believing pridefully in the beauty of his Daughters, would believe that then, the Knight would be content with marrying the Princess and living a modest lifestyle in the Hilltop Bridge woodlands; and thus return all but the neccesary money to the townspeople he had grown up with, thus greatly bolstering the economy and solving everyone's problems, with only the loss of a negligable amount of his treasures to pay off the Dragons for the room and board they would provide for the Princesses until they were returned to the King's Land along with the payment for the act of the Kidnapping and the play-fights the Dragons would allow the Knights to beat them at, flying away after they deemed it convincing enough; and of course the payment of the Knight.
However, the greed of persons he believed to be noble knights was often a great problem, and thus the Knights would forever simply live as rich barons while the peasants lived much more pooorly. This economic plan thus, had not a chance of succeeding, and the King was enraged at this, but could not change the plan due to the unreasonable fine print in the Dragon's working contract.
I, Leonard von Lizardly, Second Son of my estranged yet admired father-figure, Sire Silverscales Jr. XVI (TM) intend to rectify the King and my people's blunder through the work of my dream job as an accountant. This is certainly a task which will not be easy, and I wish that you all shall wish me luck in this endevor. Hopefully I can improve the harshness of my people's bureucrats and fix the supressed rebellion of the King's people before it blossoms into an all-out-war. (For you see, Hilltop Bridge is not a misnomer of a Town's Name, the engineers, angered greatly at the Empire's workings, faked misunderstanding the town plan and constructed an enormous bridge on a Hilltop, barely balancing on it, which could not in fact be used as a Bridge due to this fact.)
In the land of Hilltop Bridge, a constantly renamed location nearing the isles of Great Britian there was home many a fantastical quest in which brave knights slaughtered undead by the hundreds, leaped across chasms when they could not find the bridge in plain view, and rescued Princesses from subdued draconic, lizardly beasts who expelled flames hot enough to put a blacksmith out of business for a hundred eons or more.
What many later historians and thus, exaggerators keen on making sure that the people of the ages further along the cone of time look simple and borderline idiotic; simply missed or "forgot" to include was that these incidents were-not, in fact, accidents occuring by random chance or the workings of a mystical terrorist; but a simple economic system.
The King of Hilltop Bridge's reputation as a maniacal tyrant caused many a soil-man to fear, or in the King's eyes, respect, him; a fact in which the sensitive king took great joy in. However, the King disliked seeing his people suffer in such droves as they did, without enough gold or silver pences to purchase even the bare neccesities, so he installed a system in which he could stealthily help his subjects without fear that they would no longer fear his soft step along their gardens (well, despite the issue of the resulting flagrant disobedience of "Hath Not This Grass Tread On" signs, and the issue that the muddy feet of a King would instill dirty particles in Mr. Smity's perfectly arranged and cleaned garrden.).
The system was arranged with the Lord of Dragons, Scales Nothingsworth; and would be as follows: a dragon would kidnap the most beautiful daughter among the King's on every fortnight or following fortnight if it be a Holiday, and thus the King, in feigned fear and woe, would hire a brave soldier Knight, giving him an unimaginably incredible wealth if he was too return with his daughter unharmed, which was most likely given that the Dragons were not truly hostile, simply brief in there conversations and content with the more simple pleasures of sunbathing and a Sunday Flight. The King, believing pridefully in the beauty of his Daughters, would believe that then, the Knight would be content with marrying the Princess and living a modest lifestyle in the Hilltop Bridge woodlands; and thus return all but the neccesary money to the townspeople he had grown up with, thus greatly bolstering the economy and solving everyone's problems, with only the loss of a negligable amount of his treasures to pay off the Dragons for the room and board they would provide for the Princesses until they were returned to the King's Land along with the payment for the act of the Kidnapping and the play-fights the Dragons would allow the Knights to beat them at, flying away after they deemed it convincing enough; and of course the payment of the Knight.
However, the greed of persons he believed to be noble knights was often a great problem, and thus the Knights would forever simply live as rich barons while the peasants lived much more pooorly. This economic plan thus, had not a chance of succeeding, and the King was enraged at this, but could not change the plan due to the unreasonable fine print in the Dragon's working contract.
I, Leonard von Lizardly, Second Son of my estranged yet admired father-figure, Sire Silverscales Jr. XVI (TM) intend to rectify the King and my people's blunder through the work of my dream job as an accountant. This is certainly a task which will not be easy, and I wish that you all shall wish me luck in this endevor. Hopefully I can improve the harshness of my people's bureucrats and fix the supressed rebellion of the King's people before it blossoms into an all-out-war. (For you see, Hilltop Bridge is not a misnomer of a Town's Name, the engineers, angered greatly at the Empire's workings, faked misunderstanding the town plan and constructed an enormous bridge on a Hilltop, barely balancing on it, which could not in fact be used as a Bridge due to this fact.)